Life never turns out the way you expect

Hey guys :)

 

Things often come unexpected. I was pretty sure that I wrote my last blog post in 2014 when I worked on the article "Let it happen". Once again life proofed me wrong. A few days ago I got in touch with a good friend of our family who lives with her husband in Denver, Colorado in the USA. Her name is Ann and she is one of the friendliest and most cordial persons I ever met. Ann is a passionate blogger and she forwarded me her most recent article which is about our friendship and her thoughts on new year resolutions. With her permission to do so, it is an honour for me to post her article on my blog as my first guest post. Enjoy reading!

Those who know me know that I’m rarely at a loss for works – unless I’m severely depressed or asleep. It is my hope that you will enjoy my thoughts and words each month.

Jakob Greistofer is a young friend from Austria. Jakob is probably 19 by now, a math student at The University of Graz in Austria and a super kid. He lives with Andrea and Peter who coincidentally happen to be his parents. We’ve known them for years, often see them when Gary and Peter attend the same international conferences.

Jakob came with a friend and Peter a couple of years ago to experience our country, Colorado in particular. They stayed ten days, and we would loved to have had them longer. We lingered over breakfast each morning – cheeses, meats and hearty bread – very European, comparing shopping malls, customs and recreational activities.

I think Jakob would tell you that what he loves best about his life is rock climbing, and he does it well. That was the lure to Colorado, and he took full advantage of our mountains. He met Kelly Cordes, a friend of ours from Pennsylvania who happens to be pretty well known in the rock-climbing world. Kelly is an ambassador for Patagonia and excels in what he does.

Kelly took the time to stop by the indoor climbing facility in Boulder to see if he would by chance meet up with the Austrian visitors. Sure enough, they were there. I asked Kelly how he knew who they were and he said he just listened for foreign accents before approaching them. Smart guy, that Kelly. But…on to the blog.

Considerable Considerations

12/30/14

  

This is probably the last time I will date something 2014. The new year is upon us, a time to reflect on aspirations and goals. Yes, it’s time for the New Year’s Resolutions.

I love New Year’s resolutions – always have. Of course, I’ve learned lessons over the years; lessons about expectations, what makes a bad resolution and which are worthy of making.

Examples of bad resolutions are to give up something you hate. My sister, Susan, always gave up strawberries because, you guessed it, she didn’t like them. And then there are unrealistic resolutions like “I am going to work out every day” – not a good one coming from someone who has not broken a sweat in six months.

Gary and I sit down in front of the fireplace with red wine in glasses and the rest of the bottle nearby to go through our resolution ritual that I’d like to share with you.

We write down two sets of three and then take turns sharing and discussing them. Each of us has three resolutions – three things we want to stop or start doing and three things we wish the other would stop or stop doing. Oh, yeah!

The last three can get rather comical, so there is laughter amid the seriousness of this ritual we take this very seriously. I must share an example.

One year we each had a resolution for the other that were interrelated. Gary told me it drove him absolutely crazy that I was never ready on time when we were to leave the house. I responded by telling him that it drove me just as nuts that he would remind me numerous times when we had to leave.

Not only that he would give me the time I should begin to get ready as well as the time we “should be in the car ready to go.” I kid you not. Not only that, he would begin telling me the day before – two of three times – and then just as often the next day! Argh!

Here’s an example of the discourse.

Gary: “When do we have to be at Mc Dermott’s?”

Me: “6:00.”

Gary: “That means that you should start getting ready at 5:30.”

Me: “Yeah.”

Gary: “We have to be IN the car no later than 6:00.”

Me: “OK, I will be”.

Gary: “You never are.”

Me: “I will be this time.”

I never was ready.

So a couple of years ago I responded rather angrily, “Well, I think we need to go see Dr. Bell about this. Dr. Bell is my psychiatrist. Gary agreed, so we did.

Dr. Bell listened intently, then told us that we were doing this to get back at one another because we were being driven to do so – it was a matter of power, getting the other even more angry, etc.

Astoundingly, it all stopped! I mean, it instantaneously stopped. He didn’t nag and I was on time.

Who said therapy is a waste of time? And, yes, we did discuss other issues that day. This, though, is a good example of little things being not so little.

Enjoy the ‘resolution ritual’. Let me know how it goes.

Till next month,

ANN